Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
