honey bunches of taint.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
