Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Randomize
