Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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