hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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