I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
