i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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