Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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