Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
