She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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