I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
