Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
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