I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
