She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
