so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
