Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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