I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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