But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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