then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
