Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
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