i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
