Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
