if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Dick very happy bro
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
