i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
