Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
