he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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