I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
