If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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