My liver just broke up with me...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
