Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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