Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
