I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
