turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
