I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
