either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
