yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
