Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
