Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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