I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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