Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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