This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
