hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
