Porn is love you can see.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
