walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
