hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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