Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
