I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
