that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
How's work?
Spinning.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
