Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
