babies were throwing up all over the place
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
